ivanyouidiot | 001

Entry tags:

001 | Voice

[As far as interesting occurrences go, waking up with no memory of how he got there has never, in Ivan's experience, been a good thing. He's a bit past that point -- and past spending lots of energy freaking out over the fact that there's something growing out of his back as well -- by the time he figures out to look inside the notebook he sees. Reading what he finds gives him some notion of just how deep of a hole he seems to have fallen in, but at least everyone seems to be in the same position. And this Malnasso isn't a group he's heard of before. If keeping his head down is what he needs to do, then that's what he'll do.

Of course, keeping his head down doesn't always mean literally keeping his head down. Ivan knows that there can be just as much advantage to going, "Hey, look at me, I'm not a threat at all," as there can be to going entirely unnoticed. And he happens to think he's made the former into an art. And as far as these things go, he might as well meet the other abductees.]

Well, this is...

Hello everyone. I'm Ivan. [Cue a smile, it might not be be able to seen but he's pretty sure that it'll come through in his voice.]

I'm going to think that won't mean much to you yet, since none of you seem particularly familiar to me, but from what it sounds like we might have time to get to know each other. A few facts about me: I like parties, not getting shot at, and sleeping in late. And not having my body modified without my permission, [it's a little harder to make himself sound cheerful there, but he does his best,] but given the circumstances I'll settle for three out of four.

Your turn.

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Sometimes. [Gregor's eyes flick to his cousin.]

Ah.

[Ivan selfishly wishes that the Emperor hadn't decided to confide this. What's he supposed to do now? Follow him around and make sure Gregor's always having fun? Well, the latter might not be such a bad idea...]

What helps?

[A sigh.]

Staying busy, sometimes. I'm starting Judo lessons. [A beat.] I have a horse. [A gesture.] And there's also the fact that people here...come back. After about a week. So there's not much danger.

[Ivan shoots Gregor a look of pure alarm.]

You haven't had to...come back from it, have you?

No.

That's a good...start then. And you have a horse.

No girlfriend?

[Is Buffy..?]

I've only been here two months, Ivan. [He hesitates. In two months, he has barely adjusted. Ivan is still reeling. He's starting to feel like an idiot. Worse, like a selfish idiot.] I shouldn't have told you about this. I'm sorry. You just arrived.

[Two months was plenty of time to get a girlfriend.]

I think your problem is holding things in too much, not the other way around.

Not a lot of people to tell them to. [Especially about this. Especially about why. Especially here.]

There's, uh, me. And at least it's easy to find people here who can't profit in some way from it.

[Please find someone besides him to talk to about this, Gregor. Please.]

That's the truth.

...Paranoia dies hard.

How well does it do at being trimmed to a level that's not stopping what you could otherwise do?

I'm working on it. Slowly.

Oh. Well, slowly is fine.

[As long as nothing drastic happens before Gregor gets far enough.]

...I'm sorry this happened to you. This place isn't as terrible as most people will say, but it's not anyone's first choice.

It sounds like it might be a good thing for you not to be here alone.

[He gives his cousin a long look.]

There's an empty flat on this hall.

[The third room of Gregor's flat has been converted into a gym, and he is not sharing a wall with you, Ivan.]

That sounds good. What's the procedure for getting access to it?

Move your things in and sign your name to it at the Welcome Center.

[Something in his chest is easing. Unwinding. He's not alone anymore.]

That sounds easy enough.

Even easier since I don't really...have things, when you get down to it.

Things can be acquired. I started with a bedroll and a toothbrush.

Both useful, practical things.

Surely there are interesting things to be had here as well.

I found a bottle of Vorkosigan district wine a couple of weeks ago. Now I wish I'd saved it.

I'm sure I could have enjoyed it with you, but... I hope you enjoyed it with whoever you did share it with.

[Sorry, Ivan. Gregor is depressing.]

Not the way you would. And it was just after the last draft.

[He'd burned offerings to his parents. The dream shifter had managed to recall the ghost of his mother so vividly it had been necessary.]

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