ivanyouidiot | 002

[Ivan strongly considers filtering this from Gregor, but he thinks the man can have input into his own party. If his input is the 'don't throw me a party' kind then Ivan can always ignore it. He's aware that his mother would be appalled at him for starting his planning so late, but Ivan's reasonably certain that he can still gather in one place all the essential ingredients: food, attractive women, alcohol, and Gregor. Still, he suspects that Gregor might want something more and what that something would be Ivan does not know.

So he turns to his journal, bringer of wisdom -- or at least other people's perspectives.]

What makes a party fun for you?

Me, I'm easy to please, I think. But some people are really sold on having tiny iced cakes that look like Earth, as an example.

[And for some people things that look like Earth are out of the question. Gregor might be more interested in that sort of difference than Ivan is. Actually...]

And if there's anything you do where you're from that you don't see done here, you might share that as well.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ she is definitely going to regret this one more, though: ] If you're interested, I could always work something out with you too?

[Ivan makes a choking noise. Of thoughts he never needed to hear suggested, this one ranked up there pretty high.]

No! Are you insane? No.

Okay. I get it. Martial arts aren't for everyone but -- jeez. I was just being polite. There's no need to bite my head off.

I get that you're from a different society, but we're really...we don't do that sort of thing. At all.

Are you so sure about that? Greg said he used to take lessons.

[A brief moment of sputtering, and then...]

Sex isn't something people need lessons about!

[What is she doing to Gregor?]

I think that really depends on the peo--

Wait. What? I'm not -- oh my God, you thought I was teaching him that?

N-no. Ivan. No. I -- jeez.

[ break down. ]

[ Wait, how is this him misunderstanding? No, no, that's definitely what she's been saying. ]

You, but--

That's what you said!

I said I was jumping his b--?

Ivan. Sweetie. Listen very carefully. Me? I'm not sleeping with anyone. [ ... ] Okay. So I'm sleeping with someone. But it ain't him. I'm just teaching him some judo lessons. That's all.

And judo isn't code for anything else?

...Good.

[Not that she seemed a bad sort before this conversation, but this one worried him.]

It so very truly isn't. Greg's a sweet guy but...

When I said I was happily attached? I meant elsewhere. Very monogamously so.

That's...well.

[Ivan's not going to apologize for misunderstanding because he thinks she should have been clearer.]

And he knows that?

...I've, uhm, never given him any reason to think otherwise?

...Right. As far as you know.

Hey. I'm a very respectable individual. And we have never been anything but the definition of appropriate.

That doesn't stop misunderstandings from happening.

[Sorry Buffy, he's more than a little protective of Gregor.]

Okay. Buddy? You might wanna check yourself before you wreck yourself and realize what, exactly, you're accusing me of.

You and me had a misunderstanding. Don't turn it into a feud.

I'm not trying to turn it into a feud.

I just don't want him getting hurt because he starts having feelings for you.

[That's the last thing Gregor needs right now, Ivan's pretty sure. And he already knows that Gregor trusts her.]

[ jeez...

buffy takes the time to set up a filter. ]

Trust me. He won't.

[...Oh. Yes. A filter probably isn't a bad idea.]

Do you know something I should?

Mmhm. Mostly? My track record.

Nice guys don't fall for Buffy Summers.

...You're assuming that he won't fall for you because he's nice?

That's kind of shitty logic.

My life is a little used to flying in the face of logic. Take my word for it -- there's nothing here for him to be interested in.

...Nope.

Not that I know what Gregor's type is, but I don't buy it as a general rule.

Well? I'm feeling so confident that I'm ready to wager you just about anything that he's at a big fat zero on the jonesing for Buffy meter.

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