ivanyouidiot | 002

[Ivan strongly considers filtering this from Gregor, but he thinks the man can have input into his own party. If his input is the 'don't throw me a party' kind then Ivan can always ignore it. He's aware that his mother would be appalled at him for starting his planning so late, but Ivan's reasonably certain that he can still gather in one place all the essential ingredients: food, attractive women, alcohol, and Gregor. Still, he suspects that Gregor might want something more and what that something would be Ivan does not know.

So he turns to his journal, bringer of wisdom -- or at least other people's perspectives.]

What makes a party fun for you?

Me, I'm easy to please, I think. But some people are really sold on having tiny iced cakes that look like Earth, as an example.

[And for some people things that look like Earth are out of the question. Gregor might be more interested in that sort of difference than Ivan is. Actually...]

And if there's anything you do where you're from that you don't see done here, you might share that as well.

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Games...like Ring Around the Rosie! And Duck Duck Goose!

[Such games are new discoveries for her, but they were certainly very fun.]

...Perhaps not.

How old are you?

[It's politely enough said -- because he's concerned now.]

I'm eighteen! Eighteen and a half now, actually!

[She is an ADULT.]

[18 is certainly adult, he might not hit on her but he's not going to hide facts of reality either.]

Then like the games you play with alcohol instead.

[She realizes something very quickly now--that as an adult, she should know what alcohol is. She's reasonably sure it's some kind of drink with bubbles in it that makes your tummy feel funny, but she's never had it.

She can't help but wonder what kind of games that involve drinking such a bubbly beverage would be. But of course, she can't just up and admit her ignorance.]

Oh? And...what's your favorite game like that?

A variety is best. Besides, I need to think of which ones will work for this sort of thing...

[He's sure Gregor's previous birthdays haven't had any sort of formal drinking games, but Gregor's previous birthdays were also stuffy events.]

Um...what sort of party is it?

[Not that this is going to help her, but she would like to know.]

A birthday party. For someone I know -- a friend.

[...Just in case Gregor needs to hear that and is listening. Because he is a friend, and it's not like Ivan would throw a party if he weren't.]

Oh, that's so kind of you! Maybe you should...make them a Happy Birthday drink!

[Surely that's a real thing.]

I think he'd prefer something a little more substantial as a present. And I'm not sure how I'd do that anyway.

You could...put sprinkles in it? Oh--or some whipped cream?

[Like a milkshake!]

I'm not mixing a cake into his drink.

[......But a cake drink sounds delicious.]

Have you ever tried it?

I...don't really need to.

Then how do you know you won't like it?

Because it just wouldn't...chemically work at all.

[.........Chemically...]

Of...of course! You're right. I can't believe I didn't even think about that. It just slipped my mind entirely.

...Have you even ever had a drink?

[This is a most puzzling question.]

Of course I have! Every single day! Doesn't everyone?

Not really. Generally it starts to interfere with things then.

Are you drunk right now?

[That...would explain a lot.]

Nooo...?

[Is that a trick question?]

[Is that a trick answer?]

How much have you had today?

Um...well, I always have a glass with breakfast, and I usually drink throughout the day, so...two, three glasses?

Something's very wrong with your numbers.

There is? [Oh, dear.] I just thought I was being responsible.

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